Every Other Day

Id cry to get it all out,
But I'm so empty, even these echoes find themselves lost.
In this world where friends,
Still there,
Disappear for parts -- not unknown --
I don't even know what hurts;
It's not as if I cant make it on my own,
I just don't remember how.
I want to whisper "I'm so lost without you here"
But nothing's changed. You're still there, I'm still here
Making my way, like before,
Groping in the dark, perhaps,
But not any darker than it ever was,
Not any more alone than I ever was.
You're willing, I know, but not able.
I pretended you could make it all right,
All this time, every time, after that terrible night.
I wouldn't wake you after,
But at least I knew I could.
But I cant even pretend,
Cant even hope, anymore.
I want to be happy, and I am,
But why these burning tears?
Why all these dark days?
And all these crippling fears?
I cant love myself, and how,
How can someone love me?
And who will save me now?

unfinished business...

I cant hear my own thoughts these days.
Only words of songs I know too well
And forgotten poems -- a line
here and there
Missing its
other half
Sometimes its head, sometimes
-- its heart;
Never complete, never really
Saying what it means to say,
Like a clever joke with
bad deliv-
ery.
I try too hard, and yet, I never try.
I want so much --
And yet I have nothing to give.