Saturday, February 6, 2010

Apathy

Turgid brine, crashing itself against the shore,
A million drops sprayed to the skies, like
Angry words sputtered from feverish lips. Gulls
Scream, the rumble of distant thunder
Sending shivers through every living thing.
Even lonely rocks cower from the black, shaken by the break
Of crooked seas heaving endlessly,
Black breaker, white crest, at war with earth and sky.
A man, among the rocks
Standing, feels their trembling, tastes blood and salt.

Life, they say, is full and passionate, and free,
But here the taste of blood on bitten lip
Only tightens the crushing emptiness within.
He sees all, is all, bright blue eyes now
Black and dull with ache.

Yet all is silence -- violence deafened by a vacuum
Frustration.

5 comments:

don't be emily said...

Genius. REALLY good. Some great lines..."cower from the black, shaken by the break"--amazing.

~im just only me~ said...

thanks... Im not crazy about the title, and what do you think of the "yet" in the second to last line... think it should go away?

don't be emily said...

You could probably lose the yet...it might work better with the style. The title clarifies the poem; you might find something better later, but it's fine now.

Matt D said...

I see in your note you say "please criticize." I'm hopeless when it comes to criticism, all I do is try to shape the other poet into being more like me. Who needs that?

What you write is beautiful, I love it. Okay, I would like to hear more about this person, like what happened? Why are they there? Is this a beginning or an ending? Maybe I need to search your archives!

But I love it.

~im just only me~ said...

Hey Matt, thanks for following and for your kind words :) I know what you mean about the criticism thing -- if you take a look at Stealing Fire I'm always ragging on her work ;)

I don't know more about this man, but maybe I need to search my archives as well! Maybe it will tell me some more too! Let me know what you find,? In the meantime you've got me wondering, perhaps something will come to light in the future :)