Saturday, April 19, 2008

"Did you know what You were doing?"

Uninspired.
Understanding utter unction --
Shall we say extreme --
I think i missed the boat
Because i thought it was about
me.
But i jumped in anyhow.
Bleeding Bread, but not for bloody me.
Broken? Beaten?
Yes, perhaps. Not like Him.
Reconciliation?
Raging against dark demons --
But its not rage that revitalizes.
Cold water first --
I dont remember -- In nomine --
-- Domine, non tantum pedes meos --
I want it though. All.
But i jumped for what? Why? When? Where?
Cold water now, to fight back -- but still
Uninspired.

5 comments:

don't be emily said...

The second half is more coherent to me than the first. I know I always whine about the alliteration,but that second line really loses me. I have to stop and try to figure out wtf you're trying to talk about. And even when I come to the realization, in the second half, I still go back to that line and puzzle over why on earth it is there....

~im just only me~ said...

so you have to read it more than once...cant be that bad hehe :P

don't be emily said...

Well, sometimes...but always?....."having" to read it more than once and "needing" to read it more than once....you catch my drift....savvy?

~im just only me~ said...

well yeah... but... ok maybe this one sucks hehe lol i dont know...

Bar said...

lol. I liked it... it took until the 7th line...but it's quite understandable... at least I thought so, but then again, I've probably got it all wrong!
Indeed the second half is a little more understandable...but then it opends up the meaning of the first half I think. Perhaps that is "bad poetics".... Still, it made sense in some odd way :-)