Saturday, April 19, 2008
"Did you know what You were doing?"
Uninspired.
Understanding utter unction --
Shall we say extreme --
I think i missed the boat
Because i thought it was about
me.
But i jumped in anyhow.
Bleeding Bread, but not for bloody me.
Broken? Beaten?
Yes, perhaps. Not like Him.
Reconciliation?
Raging against dark demons --
But its not rage that revitalizes.
Cold water first --
I dont remember -- In nomine --
-- Domine, non tantum pedes meos --
I want it though. All.
But i jumped for what? Why? When? Where?
Cold water now, to fight back -- but still
Uninspired.
Understanding utter unction --
Shall we say extreme --
I think i missed the boat
Because i thought it was about
me.
But i jumped in anyhow.
Bleeding Bread, but not for bloody me.
Broken? Beaten?
Yes, perhaps. Not like Him.
Reconciliation?
Raging against dark demons --
But its not rage that revitalizes.
Cold water first --
I dont remember -- In nomine --
-- Domine, non tantum pedes meos --
I want it though. All.
But i jumped for what? Why? When? Where?
Cold water now, to fight back -- but still
Uninspired.
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5 comments:
The second half is more coherent to me than the first. I know I always whine about the alliteration,but that second line really loses me. I have to stop and try to figure out wtf you're trying to talk about. And even when I come to the realization, in the second half, I still go back to that line and puzzle over why on earth it is there....
so you have to read it more than once...cant be that bad hehe :P
Well, sometimes...but always?....."having" to read it more than once and "needing" to read it more than once....you catch my drift....savvy?
well yeah... but... ok maybe this one sucks hehe lol i dont know...
lol. I liked it... it took until the 7th line...but it's quite understandable... at least I thought so, but then again, I've probably got it all wrong!
Indeed the second half is a little more understandable...but then it opends up the meaning of the first half I think. Perhaps that is "bad poetics".... Still, it made sense in some odd way :-)
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