Thursday, May 1, 2008

Haiku...of sorts..

City of Big Shoulders

Oh laughing city!
Giants tow'ring in the dust,
Singing: proud, coarse, strong.

6 comments:

~im just only me~ said...

first try at a haiku ... i went to metaphorical i think... have to work on that one... the form is there however lol... i think hehe

don't be emily said...

what about saying "my" instead of oh?

~im just only me~ said...

i originally had "Oh! Laughing city," ...im thinking maybe "our"... i dont like my though..... hmmm

Anonymous said...

I wish I can write haiku that's objective-- mine is quite sentimental...

I really love pixie dust ~.~

Anonymous said...

wow i cannot spell apparently... *too* metaphorical...

~im just only me~ said...

ok im gonna change "Oh laughing city!" to "oh! laughing city:" like Robert Hass' description of "oh!"... you would have had to have been there though...ermm... ill see if i can find his explanation somewhere... or remember it exactly... lol